Second installment of my rambling thoughts. I have been a little reluctant to write of late because I have been a little depressed, and I kinda thought, maybe it is not a good idea to write while I am not feeling so hot. It has been brought to my attention that you have to write about what is going on in your life, unless you are writing fiction. I am not writing fiction yet.
Many of you know that I have been off work since mid December due to COPD. My money has just about run out, I will be losing my cell phone, and home Internet, probably tomorrow. Now, those things are no tragedy to lose, but they are nice to have, so I can communicate with everyone whenever I want to. There are other ways to get it done, just not as convenient as being able to do it from home.
I am currently between short term disability, and long term disability. There is no money coming in right now. I know that a lot of you have gone through this process already, and are thoroughly familiar with what is happening to us. Running around from agency to agency, making phone calls, searching for resources, and praying for someone to help. It really gets frustrating and disheartening. It can really make you feel helpless, and useless. If I was working, we wouldn't be going through this. But I can't work. As I said, I know a lot of you are very familiar with this.
I will say that through it all, we have been blessed with everything we need, just as the Lord promised. We get a little anxious sometimes, wanting Him to hurry up, but I think He has it all under control, and probably doesn't need any instructions from me. That's a little disappointing, since I am on top of the situation and could really give Him some great advice, but I suspect He has a very different plan from mine. Anyway, I just wanted you all to know if I am not as available as I used to be, this is why. It is a temporary setback, I ain't gone, just using different methods these days.
I hope to be back working in the near future. I really don't know how long it will take to get back to where I can work, but I am hoping it is soon as this just ain't no way to live if you don't have to.
This is sure not what I had in mind when I started this blog, but I may as well report what is. It may help you to understand my foul moods from time to time. I hope my next installment will be a little more upbeat. Anyway, I will sign off for now. Until next time....
Good night Chesty Puller, wherever you are.
ADIOS!The second installment
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If God Sends You To It He Can Also Pull You Through It. Prayers From The Other Davis Family!
ReplyDeleteThanks! I appreciate it! He always has taken care of us, and He always will !
ReplyDeleteNo Problem. That's What Family Is About.
DeleteHi Bud,
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear this. I was not aware. I had not read your ramblings till now (11:10 am 04/15/14) after I pushed a few keys to get here.
Let me tell you what I did. Can I tell you what I did when my father, Santiago, went through what you are going through or fixing to go through? COPD.
Ignacio Morales
I would like to hear about it. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteWay back, remember when you, me and Red used to smoke cigarettes in High School, The Marines and shortly after that for me? I tried to get my father, Chago, to quit by not buying him anymore cigarettes and enable him to hurt himself by smoking. I told him that The Marines had taught us that cigarettes were not healthy for the lungs. He said, he did not care and that he was fine and that he had no other vices. Quote, "I like it, leave me alone."
DeleteSpeed forward 20 years, now with COPD, unable to walk and loosing weight fast. From 180 lbs. to 60 or 70 lbs. in a few short months. Doctor after doctor, remedy after remedy, herbal junk teas, seeds, roots of all kinds, hope after hope, nada worked or healed. The funds ran out and finally we were able to put him on hospices. The insurance got him medical durable equipment from Fred's Pharmacy. I missed a lot work and invested much money in trying to care for his needs. Finally when Dr. Wong at Spohn Hospital said he had 6 mos. give or take a day to live, I scrambled and got a "No medical physical life insurance" to at least help me with his funeral services. This was a wretched time in my life, knowing that the man I loved, my father, had reached the end of the road and I was preparing to put him in the ground. Very weakly from his death bed he saw my anxiety, my tears of helplessness. He barely raised his hand to hold mine and said, "Son, damned cigarette, I should have quit when you told me 20 years ago. Now I really want live and I can't." I was not Saved from an eternity of Hell yet, so I had no way to lead him to the Lord God so he could cast his sins, fears and troubles onto the Lord Jesus for He said He would clean us of all unrighteousness. He instructed me that he preferred to die at the ranch in his house. Easier said then done, you know from a child you come and to a child you return. He had to be fed, his diaper changed, he had to be sponge bathed in bed, he had air tanks and hoses going on. A fan full speed because he said it mentally helped his lungs to take in more air- his lungs were filling with unstoppable fluids and slowly choking the life out of him. I took Family Leave so I could stay by his bedside for several days. Thank God I had chosen a job that provided me the benefit of missing work to help a close family member.
I did not know when he would finally succumb to his fate of not being able to breath and he would choke to death. I could not stand to see him suffer worst then a dying dog. I called an ambulance and I violated his request to let him die at home at the ranch. My sister-in-law helped tremendously, her husband was a doctor in Alice, TX. close to where you and I used to live in that run down hotel when we worked for Kubala "Heldt Bros., remember? Dr. put dad on morphine and he was comfortable till he died 3 days later. I prayed the best way I could with the man that was my earthly Dad and asked God to forgive him of his sins and all unrighteousness. He was like unto a candle, he glowed, he sat up, he smiled, he ate all his meal for supper, (he had not done this before-he was so weak he could not even chew his food) wow like he was going to come out of this horrible disease and beat it. I told him, "Dad, you ate everything, you look stronger". He said he felt good. I said, "You know what, you and I have not shaved or bathed in 2-3 days, let me go home, clean and I bring my razor to shave you and clean you so we can go home". I left Alice, TX. at 6 pm, drove to CC. TX., Edna called Rose while was in the shower at 8 pm. to say Dad had just passed. I then called Howard-Willams and had him buried at his little beloved ranch he inherited from his Mom, my Grandma the next day.
So, what I am trying to say is keep your children close so they can help you in your time of need. And their children will return the love when their time comes to meet Jesus in the clouds. That my friend is FAMILY! :)